In the educational arena, Ms. Ma has found that there are two types of parents who pose challenges for schools: one is what the media calls "helicopter parents"—mothers and fathers who hover over their children, solving all of their problems; and, the other type simply hands over all responsibility for educating their children to schools and teachers.
Meals and snacks offer an example of how problems might play out. The former parent-type implores teachers, "My son doesn’t like celery; please don’t include it in his meals," whereas the latter says, "My daughter hates eggplant; please find a way to make her eat it!"
Ms. Ma understands these parent types well and has her own ingenious way of dealing with them. “As long as you grasp that all-important yet invisible thread, then you’ll be okay,” she says.
What is that thread? "The most important thing in education is helping children become themselves!" She notes that difficulties children encounter in a Montessori classroom can range from minor annoyances—a too hot or too cold classroom or picky eating—to major challenges, such as trouble with academic learning or interpersonal conflicts.
All are good learning opportunities, so parents should avoid over-shielding their children and trying to solve all of their problems for them. Instead, step back and wait.
Be with them, but let them deal with the issues they’re facing. Children will learn from experience and gain self-confidence in the process. To allow children to become themselves, first, “parents and teachers must become partners in education.”
Take picky eating, for example. When a child is a fussy eater, parents can tell the teacher, "My son is a finicky eater. How can we solve this problem together?"
Never leave the responsibility of educating children to teachers; rather, form an educational alliance to help children become themselves by working together from different angles. That's what "home-school educational partnership" really means!
Ms. Ma suggests that no matter how busy parents may be, they should take the initiative in communicating with teachers.
Before a child is six years old, one-to-one conversations with the teacher every three months are recommended; after the age six, once every semester is sufficient.
Parents and teachers observe children from different perspectives – parents see only the individual child, while the teacher sees how the child interacts in a group setting.
Whether it be interpersonal problems or academic issues, as long as parents and teachers cooperate, they can bring their different points of view together and create the most conducive environment for their child’s growth.
To build successful "home-school partnerships," parents must also learn and grow along the way; only then can they truly accompany their children at each stage of the journey to self-discovery.